Irregular comments, noticings, and perhaps the occasional observation.

Friday, June 29, 2007

29 June 2007 (Friday)

Meetings today, but nothing of real interest. I found myself "elsewhere" a number of times during the day, and at least once was wishing that they would just get it over with and let me go. I could use the break.

A genial lunch at Stowe's, enjoying the weather and the sea air. Temperatures and humidity dropped again, so it was much cooler on the shore.

Home and not really feeling like doing anything - the atmosphere around work is really taking it out of me. I must find some way to deal with this. Soon.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

28 June 2007 (Thursday)

Rise later than normal, but normal morning routines. Spend the morning working on more financial numbers and getting a statement of work approved. Caught myself getting irritated at my manager, but took a step back and saw that I was being unreasonable - I had expected that he would have the time to have read through an e-mail thread. Resent the relevant information, and off we go. Other than that, a fairly mild day, and somewhat of a struggle to stay engaged. I'm feeling the pull away from here, and a part of me is hoping to be let go. I'm just not feeling as if I'm contributing anything valuable for the long-term.

A quick run out at lunch to purchase necessary gear for my basic rider's course. Relatively painless, with very knowledgeable and pleasant sales people.

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BRC in the evening - a total of three hours covering written material, videos and motorcycle descriptions and functions. All very interesting, and quite frankly, a little intimidating. I've never ridden, so I'm intimidated by the physical coordination required. I thought about this a little on the way home and observed how I drove my car. The coordination involved here is different, but still challenging if you were new at it. So, I think I can handle this.

Home to dinner and the new Rush DVD Snakes and Arrows. Damn.

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Excellence is achieved by the mastery of fundamentals. - Vince Lombardi

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

27 June 2007 (Wednesday)

Rise at the normal hour and follow the morning routines. In to work at a normal hour, traffic allowing me to arrive sooner than usual. I think the 4th of July has arrived sooner for some people, and the normal early traffic is moderated now that school is out.

Only a couple meetings today, so I spend the morning on financial matters. Some things seem a bit off, but everything balances in the end. We are getting better at knowing how much things cost, and therefore how much we make. Basic and fundamental accounting things that have taken us five or six years to attain. I also get my team meetings scheduled for the next quarter - I have been moderating scheduling meetings, since my days here are numbered.

Some quick work on my collection of C Major Exercises in PowerTab. I'll be dumping them into MIDI form so I can burn them to an audio CD that I can listen to in the car. Two hours a day of vocal practice might give me a boost into the C Major circulation course. Also looking at available MIDIs of Bach pieces and importing them into PowerTab, with an eye toward arrangement. Some interesting things here, and the more I work on the C Major exercises away from the guitar, the easier it is becoming to visualize arrangements and fingerings for these pieces.

Heading into one customer meeting, I had some trepidation due to issues we've had with one peripheral system this month. Nothing mentioned at the meeting, which was a bit of a surprise. I managed to work myself up more than was necessary. Typical.

Home to a very warm and humid house, the air conditioners going at speed. I'm glad I took the time Monday night to get them in before the most serious heat hit. Takeout for dinner, a very tasty mahi-mahi for me, chicken and shrimp Alfredo for Lisa. Some plant shuffling on the deck.

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A little burst from me this evening about the plants. I was asked how the positioning of the new pots were; I answered honestly that I thought hey were too spread out, and needed to be closer together, to give more of an impression that they are part of a whole rather than four separate items. This was met with a description of what was wrong with the suggestion, in a manner that suggested that the mind was made up and the request for a suggestion was more of a courtesy. At least that was my impression - that I was being asked for input that would not be taken into account. This is something that really irks me; either take my suggestions into account (looking at the other areas where you yourself have already done the things I am suggesting), or just do what you want and let me know how it works out.

During recapitulation, I ask myself what this really means and what is it that I do that I'm seeing in others. I'm not sure yet, more observation is required.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

19 June 2007 (Tuesday)

Rise at the usual time & complete the morning routines. I notice, while brushing my teeth, that they are in fact routines, and often there is little conscious thought or action happening. Time to look more closely at this.

In to work to a day that is blissfully free of meetings. I tackle some tasks that have been languishing for some time and complete them. One is completed just prior to an e-mail requesting that it be completed. Some impromptu talk with a colleague about the technical aspects of her project, and then off to address a related statement of work.

Lunch (chicken sandwich and fries) with a smaller group than normal today, but some lively discussion around movies and music. I notice one of the landscapers is wearing a shirt that says "Frankie Say Relax". Nobody was wearing a "Choose Life" shirt, so the Katharine Hamnett 80's flashback was incomplete. A missed cell phone call leaves a message asking me to apply for a second newly posted position with the director I interviewed with on Monday. Hope returns.
Send out my commitment to tithing. When I first read this in RF's diary a bell went off, immediately followed by a clamoring of voices wondering at practicality. I reread this again and saw something that clarified the commitment and there it was. So, I commit. Already, a jar is collecting.

Home and change so that I can begin dinner preparations. Some preparation takes longer than expected, so the chicken goes on to the rotisserie late. Things work out, as Lisa is touring the house and gardens with our guests and I prepare a grilled pepper, tomato and mozzarella appetizer. A good meal with good conversation.

Clean up after dinner and set the kitchen back in order, then collapse into bed.

Monday, June 18, 2007

18 June 2007 (Monday)

Rise earlier than normal today - I have meetings beginning at 8:00 AM, and I need to be in earlier to prepare. Though it is early, it is already in the 70's and a little humid. I suppose summer begins here.

Feel a little off in the morning - I think I may have gotten a bit dehydrated yesterday, and I'm feeling the effects today. Into the kitchen to refill my water glass several times this morning.
Meetings go well, though I've somehow aquired four new projects outside of my area. I thought this whole "being let go" thing meant less work, not more. Oh well, at least it's project management, and gives me something I can build on. I'll also be looking at different technologies and business activities, so I'll be able to expand my experience that way.

Lunch turns into an excursion to a beach-side eatery (Chick's) and sitting out in the sun, withthe wind coming off Long Island Sound. Marvellous and relaxing. The weather is perfect for this, and we chat about various work and non-work things. A call from the wife asking about actors and actresses in movies. Yes, it's Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing, and the monk (David Wenham) played Faramir in LotR, and was the only survivor in 300.

Afternoon interview with three directors for the senior project manager position. Good, but gruelling. I felt it went reasonably well, but I'm probably not qualified for thelevel of position they were interviewing for. I've been on the technical side for so long, and my position (well, until today) didn't really allow me to focus much on project management, and when I did, it wasn't on a very large scale. An e-mail from their company's HR system confirms that I am not one of the final candidates.

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Driving home, I'm still feeling off, and a little dozy. Open the windows and let the wind feed me a little. Home, change and out to shop for tomorrow's dinner. By the time I get to the store, I am very hungry. End up getting a quick sugary snack, which helps in the short term, but I end up paying for later. Back home again, preparing brining for the chicken I will rotisserie, and then a dinner of leftover pork with calamata olives and corn. I note that I was still dozy, even after the sugary snack, but the protien really helped pick me up.

Call with Mom to confirm the weekend plans. Three days on the Cape! Hooray!

A bit of Blade, then to bed.

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A noticing for the day: I continue to convince myself that things are harder than they actually are. The initial push into beginning something finds resistance. Once I've pushed through that, I'm good.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

17 June 2007 (Sunday)

Rise at 8:00 and discuss the day with the wife. I make a run out to the Flea while she goes to the garden center. Flea markets fascinate me for two reasons: people and stuff. People watching moves to a different level at the FM, personalities, families, side conversations about all manner of things while haggling over items. The father shouting at his kids NOT TO TOUCH when, for an 8 year-old at the flea it's an impossibility. And the stuff! What seems to be the popular item that turns up at many of the vendors? Musical instruments and old golf clubs this week. Next week it will be different.

I did find some nice chisels for $6, and looked at, but passed on, a drill press for $25. It was a good manufacturer, but a little rough looking, and needed some work. I kept going past it, while the junk collector in me kept saying "but it's only $25!".

Home to some garden work, which doesn't last long once the sun and the heat really kick in. Spray seal the interior of a metal container so it can be used as a planter, and rearrange items on the deck. Out shopping for dinner while Lisa naps.

Opt not to rotisserie as Lisa is very hungry when she wakes, so grill instead. Dinner of pork loin in a pomegranite & chipotle marinade, with grilled red potatoes and vidalia onions, with corn.

Some fiddling on the computer, then upstairs for the Robot Chicken - Star Wars special, then sleep.

Friday, June 15, 2007

15 June 2007 (Friday)

Rise at the normal time but am delayed getting out of the house by some necessary cat duties. Still in to work at a reasonable hour, and able to prep for my 9:00 AM team meeting. This meeting is still a bit of a struggle, since I'm a remote manager. There is one team member, a good person, but I'm not clear on his capacity for independent action and for maintaining focus on a task. I've been after him for months to begin work to better monitor our systems, but there has always been "something" else that comes up which distracts him from the task. I just haven't found the way to get him there yet. Today I attempted a new tack: taking a small piece of the whole and making that a deliverable for next week. Perhaps by breaking this down into smaller pieces for him at the beginning, I get help him build up the required momentum to complete the task.

Some quick errands at lunch, then reluctantly back to the office to a meeting for the new panic project. It is beautiful out today, after several cool and overcast days. Basics laid out in preparation for the request, options proffered. The client sends an e-mail near the end of our meeting with an additional option which is quite good. I'm not above taking suggestions from the customer.

Afternoon interview, which ends up being a "preliminary" interview because one of the other interviewing directors is not available. A good phone call, and the person I talked to (who would be the hiring director, two levels above me) seemed to think I was suited for the position. Interestingly, he said that I sounded like I knew what I was talking about, even though I had only said a few words beyond "right", "I see" and "I agree" as he talked to me. We schedule a second call for Monday afternoon.

Home to install the rotisserie on the new grill and pack the fountain with Styrofoam to cut down on the hollow sound (which works well). Practice for about ninety minutes with ChrisP working on variations on C Major. Some good work, ending with some work on circulating the C Major Prelude from Book I of the WTC, with attention to the musicality.

Dinner with the wife, then final disassembly of the old workhorse of a grill, cleanup and into the house. Diary and then bed.

In reflecting on the past week, I notice I've been very distracted, and then I notice that I've maintained little contact with my body this week.

And an interesting side thought after reading David's journal: my first encounter with AT was through dressage. My wife and I rode for a few years when we first started dating, and we had several AT sessions with a gentleman out of Cambridge, MA that also worked with musicians. If you think watching the change in a person with hands-on AT work is amazing, you ought to see what a skilled teacher can do with a horse. Often, when I walk, I remember specific sessions of AT work from that time period, and it changes me.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

14 June 2007 (Thursday)

Rest in peace Mr. Wizard (Don Herbert).

I never got to watch the original, but I did see the later stuff on Nickelodeon. I also knew a lot of people, many of them teachers, who were inspired by his work and in turn, inspired me. He was also born the same day I was.

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Slightly more connected today, and a good thing, as a new, urgent, and likely impossible task has been set before my team. We are paying the tab for someone else's lack of planning. Being an IT person, this seems to be the norm and the expectation. The sad thing is that it does not have to be.

At some point, IT became a commodity, not just for the basic services, but for everything. From low-end repetetive activities, to the high-end analysis and custom application design, the business expectation is that this work can turn on a dime and cost as much. To make matters worse, the expectations are typically part of a reality that do not coincide with this world or any other I've experienced. A friend of mine once put it this way:

Imagine a scenario where you want someone to build a deck for you (no, not this deck):

[Picture of a deck of programming cards, from the dark ages of mainframe computing]

I mean the other kind of deck. The one made of wood that you have to paint.
So you want to build a deck. So you hire a contractor, and tell him “I want you to make me a deck. I want it made out of wood, and I want it to be nice. You can decide what color to paint it.” And that’s all you tell the contractor, and he goes off to work. A week later, he finishes the job, and you look at it, and decide “you know, I really don’t like this deck. The color is wrong, and it needs more benches. And I expect my changes done in 2 days at no additional cost to me”. And the contractor says, “Ok, but you never told me what color you wanted in the first place. What color do you want?” and you respond “Oh, I don’t know. I need to see it completely painted before I can decide which color is right”.


Sounds insane, right? This is the insanity of software development. I’m in this cycle right now, currently in it’s 4th iteration. And this customer, who is actually a pretty good customer, can’t seem to nail down exactly what they want, and it’s costing us a lot of time and money. They just want changes, and once the changes are complete and put into production, they’ll decide if they like it or not. And they think this is fine, and natural, and normal. This, of course, is not the first time this has happened in my career, this is just the most frustrating.I’m just glad I don’t have to build decks for these folks.

And, they don't want to pay you more than your original quote, even with all of the changes.

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Home and out to pick up a fountain for the deck. They were out of stock on what we wanted, so we got the floor model for 10% off. Poking at the local mallish place, too many little cool things at Williams Sonoma, all too expensive. Questionable dinner at Johnny Rockets (American Fries!), but a really good malted milkshake.

Home to set up the fountain. The splashing water inside sounds a bit hollow, so I'll dampen it with Styrofoam tomorrow. A little comupting, and then bed.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

13 June 2007 (Wednesday)

A rather scattered day, which seemed to correspond to the scattered sitting this morning. For most of the day, those of us on campus sat in anticipation of the announcement of who has purchased the site (Yale has been the primary name thrown around by the newspapers). In the end, Yale University is the buyer, and as would be expected, nothing changes for the immediate future.

What was most interesting to me, was how this whole announcement event (which occurred at 3:00 PM) pulled my attention away from anything else.

A call at the end of the day sets up a Friday interview at another company. Hope.
Home to a dozy wife, out to refill the fridge and prepare dinner. Made croutons, then grilled some pork and made salads. A little light reading and then to bed.

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Reviewing my list of possible menu items for August I see that I like cucumbers.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

12 June 2007 (Tuesday)

Rumors, gossip, innuendo and hearsay greet my arrival at work this morning. There have been significant sprucing-up efforts happening on campus over the past two weeks (painting lines, badge readers, patching curbs, mulching, etc.) Today, many new hydrangeas and rose-of-sharons have appeared on site, and the landscape service is replacing some of the dying trees lining the main road in the campus. Today, an article in the local newspaper hinting at the purchase of the site by Yale University for use as a research extension. I wouldn't mind working for Yale...

The day carries on, and I attend a new meeting (to cover for the injured and vacationing). E-mails from Corporate Communications warn us that we shouldn't be talking to the news reporters parked outside the gates on the site. Comical.

Home from work to a new grill which needs to be assembled. Our current grill, now nearly fifteen years old has finally given up the ghost (the bottom dropped out, and there's really nothing I can fix). Considering how much we use the grill (year-round, really) this is always a good investment for us. And, I'm paying the same amount today for the new grill (with super-cool new features) as I did for the slightly smaller older grill. The new beast is well packed and mostly assembled when it arrives, and what remains to be assembled appears to have been designed by someone who actually has put one of these together. We had the grill unpacked, assembled and cooking dinner in about an hour.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

10 June 2007 (Sunday)

A return to the journal.

So, why am I here again?

Why do you wish to write and post your Journal?I will be the kitchen coordinator for the Special Circulation project in Royalston, MA this August. I wish to use this as an opportunity to observe and notice this process as it unfolds. I'd also like this to be a part of the public journals in order to increase the opportunities as I approach this role for the first time.

Date of beginning and completion
Begin: Sunday, June 10th, 2007
Complete: Saturday, September 1st, 2007

What is your Aim?
My Aim is to use the Journal as a tool to more directly experience the process of being the kitchen coordinator for a Guitar Craft course.

So, there you go.

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Leisurely rise today, after yesterday's long day (we volunteered at the CT Special Olympics at the Long Jump venue). Out to breakfast with our nephew at the Cosmic Omelette - our dining timing holds up for the weekend, and we get a seat before a large group arrives. Home to the deck and reading the Sunday paper, then some idle time as Lisa and Ian nap.

Leave for Boston at the usual time with ChrisP, and discuss some computer issues he's having as we drive. Arrive a bit early and meet Martin and do a bit of warm-up while waiting for Victor. The GCNE meets (I volunteered for minutes which I'll post on that site) and Chris and I head home.

Some interesting thoughts came to mind on the drive up that I had to jot down before we went in to the meeting. Most of these have to do with the nature of people and how we really want to belive things. It seems to me that if the presentation of a concept is at least internally consistent, and the basis contains an element of truth, we fill in the gaps and assume it's true. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; there are times we need to trust that an author/presenter does in fact know what they are saying or doing is true. Problems seem to arise when we completely stop questioning the information that we are given.

The power that this behavior grants some people is truly frightening.