Journal - 2011-10-06
195 (-37), NS-4, 6:15 AM, RF
Rise a bit later as Lisa is staying home today. I'm feeling better than yesterday, but she's still feeling off.
In by 7:30 and rolling through a few items before a 2 1/2 hour video conference. This is an "event" for the risk management team, and they've asked us along for the viewing. It's good from my perspective, because it allows us on the IT side to see and hear the end results of the work we've been doing for the past month. Many of our projects have been slightly delayed as numerous requests for ad-hoc runs come in, so it will be good to see the context and results of all that work.
Weight is now at the target, but a bit earlier than I expected. Now comes the hard part: maintaining (I really don't want to go too much lower at this point), tone (tightening things up) and endurance (I still don't have the stamina I should).
---------------------------------
Dinner last night of buffalo wings and a breakfast casserole. Odd combination, but Lisa wanted wings, and the guys from California were on the late shift, so were making up at dinner time. Breakfast seemed like the right thing.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Past and Future
Journal - 2011-10-03
??? (-32), S!, 5:30 AM, LF
Not much sleep, but manage to rise at a reasonable time. Get all the morning stuff attended to, and out by the normal time.
Computer at work is misbehaving - it's at least an hour before the hard drive stops thrashing and I can get something done. Not sure what the deal is, but the machine is due for replacement by the end of the year, so hopefully that will help.
--------------------------------
Chose not to pursue the AAD this month. A little disappointed, but it's not in the budget. Need to begin planning for the May course now, so I can be in the clear for that one. Actually had a dream about the course in the last week, so perhaps it's reaching back to grab me. Of course most of my association with courses at Royalston are wrapped up in the Circulation course a few years back. Flashbacks aren't quite the right word, but there's some lingering emotions there. It will be interesting to go back now and see what comes up.
---------------------------------
Made a pretty good dinner last night, definitely a "Fall" meal: slow cooked pork shoulder with potatoes and mushrooms, and oven roasted butternut squash and leeks. I think I've found a way to cook the pork without it becoming mush, though even with the large slow cooker and a small pork shoulder, things didn't quite fit. Still considering ways to build a smoker in the back that I can use to do this (and make my own bacon - yum!).
---------------------------------
It's not a cage if you're feeling like a resident - Umphree's McGee
---------------------------------
??? (-32), S!, 5:30 AM, LF
Not much sleep, but manage to rise at a reasonable time. Get all the morning stuff attended to, and out by the normal time.
Computer at work is misbehaving - it's at least an hour before the hard drive stops thrashing and I can get something done. Not sure what the deal is, but the machine is due for replacement by the end of the year, so hopefully that will help.
--------------------------------
Chose not to pursue the AAD this month. A little disappointed, but it's not in the budget. Need to begin planning for the May course now, so I can be in the clear for that one. Actually had a dream about the course in the last week, so perhaps it's reaching back to grab me. Of course most of my association with courses at Royalston are wrapped up in the Circulation course a few years back. Flashbacks aren't quite the right word, but there's some lingering emotions there. It will be interesting to go back now and see what comes up.
---------------------------------
Made a pretty good dinner last night, definitely a "Fall" meal: slow cooked pork shoulder with potatoes and mushrooms, and oven roasted butternut squash and leeks. I think I've found a way to cook the pork without it becoming mush, though even with the large slow cooker and a small pork shoulder, things didn't quite fit. Still considering ways to build a smoker in the back that I can use to do this (and make my own bacon - yum!).
---------------------------------
It's not a cage if you're feeling like a resident - Umphree's McGee
---------------------------------
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Surviving FARGO
2011-09-28
200 (-32), NS+59, 5:30 AM, LF
Another good weigh-in, despite the weekend at FARGO (which included some carrot cake and a brownie). Also, one more belt loop down. Still looking at 195 as the plateau, even though the BMI indicates I should be at 175 to hit their "healthy" mark. Scheduled follow-up health screening to see where the numbers ended up. The original numbers (7/21/2011) weren't so hot, so we'll see how they end up after the retest in October.
Not an awful weekend at FARGO, but pretty close. Got stuck early on Thursday and Friday, and didn't really do well in the tournaments until Sunday when I bubbled the final table in the HOSE tourney. I probably could have held on and made the final table and a few rounds, but I felt pretty good about the result. I seem to have decent results in Stud and Stud/8, so I ought to look closer at those games for the future.
I did get half-unstuck Saturday night with a longer 1-2 NLHE session, so the weekend wasn't a complete loss. The way I figure, I've got a certain amount set aside, and that's the limit. If I get some back, I've had a good weekend. If I get even, it's a great weekend. If I'm ahead, then it's an awesome weekend.
Did get to talk some with DavidK and JessK - haven't seen them in a while. David is working with the GCNE this season, and it's good to see him back working with the team. Also good to hear that as he comes to the end of his time in law school that he should be set to go. A good conversation at the Thursday dinner with David, Jess and a couple of other FARGOers about critical thinking, and it's seeming absence in modern American discourse (political and otherwise). Also some discussion about how to affect this, beginning at early years, and why it's either simply lacking or aggressively opposed in early (pre-teen) education.
I am constantly remined that this group of people is unusually smart and talented every time I am exposed to them, and I feel quite fortunate to be a part of it every year.
200 (-32), NS+59, 5:30 AM, LF
Another good weigh-in, despite the weekend at FARGO (which included some carrot cake and a brownie). Also, one more belt loop down. Still looking at 195 as the plateau, even though the BMI indicates I should be at 175 to hit their "healthy" mark. Scheduled follow-up health screening to see where the numbers ended up. The original numbers (7/21/2011) weren't so hot, so we'll see how they end up after the retest in October.
Not an awful weekend at FARGO, but pretty close. Got stuck early on Thursday and Friday, and didn't really do well in the tournaments until Sunday when I bubbled the final table in the HOSE tourney. I probably could have held on and made the final table and a few rounds, but I felt pretty good about the result. I seem to have decent results in Stud and Stud/8, so I ought to look closer at those games for the future.
I did get half-unstuck Saturday night with a longer 1-2 NLHE session, so the weekend wasn't a complete loss. The way I figure, I've got a certain amount set aside, and that's the limit. If I get some back, I've had a good weekend. If I get even, it's a great weekend. If I'm ahead, then it's an awesome weekend.
Did get to talk some with DavidK and JessK - haven't seen them in a while. David is working with the GCNE this season, and it's good to see him back working with the team. Also good to hear that as he comes to the end of his time in law school that he should be set to go. A good conversation at the Thursday dinner with David, Jess and a couple of other FARGOers about critical thinking, and it's seeming absence in modern American discourse (political and otherwise). Also some discussion about how to affect this, beginning at early years, and why it's either simply lacking or aggressively opposed in early (pre-teen) education.
I am constantly remined that this group of people is unusually smart and talented every time I am exposed to them, and I feel quite fortunate to be a part of it every year.
Friday, September 16, 2011
Last minuteness
2011-09-16
206 (-26), NS+47, 5:30 AM, LF
More connected when I got up this morning, perhaps I slept a bit better now that it's cooled off.
------------------------------------
Goofy morning - had an e-mail from our tech people that the manager in our area was putting a hold on something we'd had pending for two months that was ready to move forward. I love intermediaries dealing with vendors. Seems like it has been addressed, but it still set a bad tone for the day. Also had to reschedule a meeting, since the majority of the team would be calling in. I'm getting to a point where I won't accept call-ins for my meetings any more. People on the phone "multi-tasking", having to repeat things, plus the added bonus of language & accents on the phone makes having a productive meeting next to impossible.
-------------------------------------
Made a good dinner last night, inspired by a corn side dish. I don't often make tacos, but with the fresh produce of the season, salsas, pestos, corn, peppers and onions lead me right down the path of a good Mexican style meal. Or at least as Mexican as a Polish kid can do.
206 (-26), NS+47, 5:30 AM, LF
More connected when I got up this morning, perhaps I slept a bit better now that it's cooled off.
------------------------------------
Goofy morning - had an e-mail from our tech people that the manager in our area was putting a hold on something we'd had pending for two months that was ready to move forward. I love intermediaries dealing with vendors. Seems like it has been addressed, but it still set a bad tone for the day. Also had to reschedule a meeting, since the majority of the team would be calling in. I'm getting to a point where I won't accept call-ins for my meetings any more. People on the phone "multi-tasking", having to repeat things, plus the added bonus of language & accents on the phone makes having a productive meeting next to impossible.
-------------------------------------
Made a good dinner last night, inspired by a corn side dish. I don't often make tacos, but with the fresh produce of the season, salsas, pestos, corn, peppers and onions lead me right down the path of a good Mexican style meal. Or at least as Mexican as a Polish kid can do.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Minimalism
2011-09-15
206 (-26), NS+46, 5:30 AM, LF
A little bit of a rough beginning today - feeling a bit distracted, and not quite in contact with the day's work despite the morning exercise. A few extra pauses as a way to help with this, we'll see how it works.
------------------------------------
Listening to a song by Hollywood Undead, took me nearly the entire song to realize that the main riff was Crazy Train...
206 (-26), NS+46, 5:30 AM, LF
A little bit of a rough beginning today - feeling a bit distracted, and not quite in contact with the day's work despite the morning exercise. A few extra pauses as a way to help with this, we'll see how it works.
------------------------------------
Listening to a song by Hollywood Undead, took me nearly the entire song to realize that the main riff was Crazy Train...
Monday, September 12, 2011
How do we know?
2011-09-12
??? (-22), NS+43, 5:30 AM, RH
Questions, notes and quotes for the day:
How do I know when I've actually accomplished something? What internal and external signs are there that something has been completed?
"Majority Rule" is meaningless in an insane asylum. - NOFX
-------------------------
Less sleep last night than I might have liked, but we did stay up a bit later watching True Blood and 300. I did manage to hit the Flea, Farmer's market, a bike ride, and get some laundry done before settling in for TV mindlessness.
This morning has been a struggle against a certain level of inertia, mostly a successful one. The question on completion and accomplishment is an important one at the moment. It fits in with the questions of vital needs and what it takes to live a satisfied life. Channeling my energy into those things that fulfill is important work, as is being aware of those times I drift into the unnecessay, and sap time and energy away from those other things.
??? (-22), NS+43, 5:30 AM, RH
Questions, notes and quotes for the day:
How do I know when I've actually accomplished something? What internal and external signs are there that something has been completed?
"Majority Rule" is meaningless in an insane asylum. - NOFX
-------------------------
Less sleep last night than I might have liked, but we did stay up a bit later watching True Blood and 300. I did manage to hit the Flea, Farmer's market, a bike ride, and get some laundry done before settling in for TV mindlessness.
This morning has been a struggle against a certain level of inertia, mostly a successful one. The question on completion and accomplishment is an important one at the moment. It fits in with the questions of vital needs and what it takes to live a satisfied life. Channeling my energy into those things that fulfill is important work, as is being aware of those times I drift into the unnecessay, and sap time and energy away from those other things.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Adjustments
2011-09-08
??? (-22), NS, 5:15 AM
Early rise again. While I'm wondering at the cause (shifting to Lisa's schedule, the weight loss, the crazy rain storm & paranoia about water leaks), I'm not going to look at this too closely. I feel as if this change in timing is good: more time in the morning to get things done, more energy, more feeling of accomplishment. I still have some lingering agita that I need to suss out, but in the meantime, I'll accept an increase in productivity - or at least the feeling of it.
I do note that my crankiness is up this week. I can probably guess the reason (it's definitely a Vital Need), and if this is the case, there's really nothing I can do about it - the resolution is in someone else's control. The best I can do be aware of it, acknowledge it, and manage it the best I can.
-----------------------------
Crazy amount of rain this morning, though I'm sure far less than what Vermont experienced last week. Most of the roads on the way in had a lot of water on them. Even so, some of the other drivers were testing my patience. I'm noticing that I'm handling this less civilly than I could - perhaps this is related to the crankiness. Perhaps I'm becoming a less pleasant misanthrope.
Got in without too much issue, and am working through the morning tasks with some attention in my right foot.
------------------------------
To follow on from yesterday (regarding my struggling): at the end of the work week, I want to feel as if I've accomplished something of quality. Currently, I just feel a sense of relief that I've made it through. I think this is the difference between concluding/completing and finishing.
Note.Self: look into Scala as a development language - it's supported in v7 of the JVM.
------------------------------
Good walk around the building at lunch - about 1/2 again as long as normal. Sun starting to poke out meant that it was getting hot & humid quickly. Now to tie some things up before leaving for the day. On to the first week of bowling(!).
??? (-22), NS, 5:15 AM
Early rise again. While I'm wondering at the cause (shifting to Lisa's schedule, the weight loss, the crazy rain storm & paranoia about water leaks), I'm not going to look at this too closely. I feel as if this change in timing is good: more time in the morning to get things done, more energy, more feeling of accomplishment. I still have some lingering agita that I need to suss out, but in the meantime, I'll accept an increase in productivity - or at least the feeling of it.
I do note that my crankiness is up this week. I can probably guess the reason (it's definitely a Vital Need), and if this is the case, there's really nothing I can do about it - the resolution is in someone else's control. The best I can do be aware of it, acknowledge it, and manage it the best I can.
-----------------------------
Crazy amount of rain this morning, though I'm sure far less than what Vermont experienced last week. Most of the roads on the way in had a lot of water on them. Even so, some of the other drivers were testing my patience. I'm noticing that I'm handling this less civilly than I could - perhaps this is related to the crankiness. Perhaps I'm becoming a less pleasant misanthrope.
Got in without too much issue, and am working through the morning tasks with some attention in my right foot.
------------------------------
To follow on from yesterday (regarding my struggling): at the end of the work week, I want to feel as if I've accomplished something of quality. Currently, I just feel a sense of relief that I've made it through. I think this is the difference between concluding/completing and finishing.
Note.Self: look into Scala as a development language - it's supported in v7 of the JVM.
------------------------------
Good walk around the building at lunch - about 1/2 again as long as normal. Sun starting to poke out meant that it was getting hot & humid quickly. Now to tie some things up before leaving for the day. On to the first week of bowling(!).
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Move along
2011-09-07
210 (-22), NS, 5:15 AM
Progress this past week on the weight, resisting my natural urge to be idle (though the trouble spot on the belly lingers). I wonder if I'm losing muscle mass, though my protein intake was good, and I did more physically (lifting, walking, etc.). At the beginning of the 7th week, and I'm going to set a "final" target weight of 195. I figure at that point I'll be able to better balance intake & exercise to shift the remaining pounds to better locations, as well as re-develop some stamina.
Decent sleep last night, up with the alarm and listening to the downpour. Supposed to have the chimneys cleaned, but given the rain it wasn't likely (though it cleared enough later in the day - better to reschedule than to hang out at home wondering). In to work by 6:30 and playing with the upgraded computer. Eventually it settles enough to allow me to work.
I am working to improve the aspects of my life I have control over, and operating under the assumption that improving the quality of one thing will positively impact others. Ended up beginning with weight and health, as it underlies so many other aspects of living. I've noticed that part of me that just wants to fill space - in this case it's with food - and looking to better manage it. I have also begion to notice it in other aspects of my life, so I at least have a shot at managing it in other places. Not sure I need to "order" things I'm going to focus on, but it makes sense to clearly spike them out.
- food/weight/exercise/health
- work work
- home work
- practice and play
New concept this week from the NS program about "vital needs", those things that, if they are not being met, reduce your quality of life. The instructor listed somewhere over 20, but suggested that each person has 7 that are vital to them. So, some work to honestly evaluate which are the most vital to me. I expect the list to shift over time, but it's a good place to begin.
-----------------------------
I struggle, because sometimes I don't know where to begin, I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of the end goal. I have to learn to begin *somewhere* and build on that.
210 (-22), NS, 5:15 AM
Progress this past week on the weight, resisting my natural urge to be idle (though the trouble spot on the belly lingers). I wonder if I'm losing muscle mass, though my protein intake was good, and I did more physically (lifting, walking, etc.). At the beginning of the 7th week, and I'm going to set a "final" target weight of 195. I figure at that point I'll be able to better balance intake & exercise to shift the remaining pounds to better locations, as well as re-develop some stamina.
Decent sleep last night, up with the alarm and listening to the downpour. Supposed to have the chimneys cleaned, but given the rain it wasn't likely (though it cleared enough later in the day - better to reschedule than to hang out at home wondering). In to work by 6:30 and playing with the upgraded computer. Eventually it settles enough to allow me to work.
I am working to improve the aspects of my life I have control over, and operating under the assumption that improving the quality of one thing will positively impact others. Ended up beginning with weight and health, as it underlies so many other aspects of living. I've noticed that part of me that just wants to fill space - in this case it's with food - and looking to better manage it. I have also begion to notice it in other aspects of my life, so I at least have a shot at managing it in other places. Not sure I need to "order" things I'm going to focus on, but it makes sense to clearly spike them out.
- food/weight/exercise/health
- work work
- home work
- practice and play
New concept this week from the NS program about "vital needs", those things that, if they are not being met, reduce your quality of life. The instructor listed somewhere over 20, but suggested that each person has 7 that are vital to them. So, some work to honestly evaluate which are the most vital to me. I expect the list to shift over time, but it's a good place to begin.
-----------------------------
I struggle, because sometimes I don't know where to begin, I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of the end goal. I have to learn to begin *somewhere* and build on that.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Reboot
2011-08-31
216, NS
Figured I'd begin writing again, and see where it takes me. Just want to get some of the things crawling around in my head out and on paper. I figure, since I'm not performing with the circle this season, I need to do some other Work to support from a distance. Mulling a few things, including some musical arranging/writing. We'll see. Lots of inertia to overcome, and I've never been good at addressing it. OK, I admit it: I'm just lazy.
Tough getting up this morning - slept an extra hour - but oddly, it didn't affect when we left the house. I need to review my morning routine to see what I didn't do this morning, and see what I avoided doing this morning, and whether it is something that's actually necessary. It would be be interesting to see if I can repurpose that 5:15 - 6:15 hour for some sort of exercise. Lord knows I need it - changing my eating habits are helping, but to really get to where I want, I'm going to need more physical activity.
Speaking of exercise: week six of naturally slim, gained a pound. I'm still down 16 from where I started (23 from the original weigh-in, but that was fully clothed so I'm not really counting it). I figured I'd put on some weight - the weekend had some hurricane eating going on, so I was eating out boredom, rather than being hungry. Regardless, lost a little more girth; things are fitting better, and I'm running out of holes on some of my belts. Success is measured in new belts purchased...
----------------------------
So, I'm in a wierd place, and feel a little stuck. I can see that I'm not doing the things I need to do, whether it be exercise, practice (musical or poker), work on the house, etc. I can see it, but there's some aspect of my nature I have to overcome to not just land myself in a chair after work. Just not sure what to do here, besides just suck it up and do *something*.
----------------------------
One of the interesting things about the Naturally Slim program is its use of intentional/conscious eating. It isn't called this explicitly in the program, but essentially, that's what we're doing: chewing slowly, not just to slow the pace of eating and allowing your body's fullness trigger to kick in, but also to recognise that you're tasting something; eating when you're actually hungry, not just because it's time; the difference between being hungry and being dehydrated in the morning; social and biological drivers for chronic overeating.
Some very interesting moments during the program where I've found myself automatically reaching for something (a cookie after a performance) or thinking about eating because I'm bored. More practical work about the present moment than I've done in a while.
216, NS
Figured I'd begin writing again, and see where it takes me. Just want to get some of the things crawling around in my head out and on paper. I figure, since I'm not performing with the circle this season, I need to do some other Work to support from a distance. Mulling a few things, including some musical arranging/writing. We'll see. Lots of inertia to overcome, and I've never been good at addressing it. OK, I admit it: I'm just lazy.
Tough getting up this morning - slept an extra hour - but oddly, it didn't affect when we left the house. I need to review my morning routine to see what I didn't do this morning, and see what I avoided doing this morning, and whether it is something that's actually necessary. It would be be interesting to see if I can repurpose that 5:15 - 6:15 hour for some sort of exercise. Lord knows I need it - changing my eating habits are helping, but to really get to where I want, I'm going to need more physical activity.
Speaking of exercise: week six of naturally slim, gained a pound. I'm still down 16 from where I started (23 from the original weigh-in, but that was fully clothed so I'm not really counting it). I figured I'd put on some weight - the weekend had some hurricane eating going on, so I was eating out boredom, rather than being hungry. Regardless, lost a little more girth; things are fitting better, and I'm running out of holes on some of my belts. Success is measured in new belts purchased...
----------------------------
So, I'm in a wierd place, and feel a little stuck. I can see that I'm not doing the things I need to do, whether it be exercise, practice (musical or poker), work on the house, etc. I can see it, but there's some aspect of my nature I have to overcome to not just land myself in a chair after work. Just not sure what to do here, besides just suck it up and do *something*.
----------------------------
One of the interesting things about the Naturally Slim program is its use of intentional/conscious eating. It isn't called this explicitly in the program, but essentially, that's what we're doing: chewing slowly, not just to slow the pace of eating and allowing your body's fullness trigger to kick in, but also to recognise that you're tasting something; eating when you're actually hungry, not just because it's time; the difference between being hungry and being dehydrated in the morning; social and biological drivers for chronic overeating.
Some very interesting moments during the program where I've found myself automatically reaching for something (a cookie after a performance) or thinking about eating because I'm bored. More practical work about the present moment than I've done in a while.
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