Another week passes...

Another work week passes by - things flying through my head today include a series of thoughts about "worth" and "value". Can you tell it's performance review time in corporate land?

Aside from this, home to some catch-up on e-mail, Facebook (insert time-sucking sound effect here) and pho for dinner. I'm pausing peridically today to check in on my mental and physical state. When I got home yesterday, it seemed like I hit the mental version of black ice, skidding and careening all over the place. To top it off, all I craved for dinner was junk food. Sometimes this isn't a bad thing, but I resisted the urge, as it really didn't seem like the best option. Today the craving was still there, but less intense. I have a feeling that drinking a caffeine/guarana-heavy drink yesterday had something to do with it. Interesting that it has taken nearly two full days to clear out of my system. Something I'll need to monitor more closely.

Some basic items to take care of tomorrow, but the plan for the weekend is pretty light. My left wrist is getting better now that I've been wearing a splint, but it's still awkward, so nothing heavy for a few more days.

Like a Rolling Stone...

Rise late this morning - the other two kittens came back from the vets last night, and despite being neutered yesterday, were in full tilt mode at about 3:30 this morning. Fitful sleep after 4:30, with two odd dreams, one that involved bees.

Music on the brain this morning includes Blind Faith (not sure which song) and Bob Dylan (Like a Rolling Stone). Of course, now this leads me associatively to Traffic (Freedom Rider). Fun with the things in my head...

Sunday at rest...

So, a busy weekend. I got another face cord of wood split and all of the leaves I wanted to bagged up and off the yard. Today was a lighter day - morning at my nephew's hockey game, then to the Wadsworth Atheneum for the Festival of Trees and Traditions, and the Gustav Stickley collection on display there this month. The trees were very nice, with a few interesting standouts. There was one quilted wreath that stood out for me. Got a picture of that for my grandfather, whose quilting is amazing.

The Stickley collection was small, but interesting, as it moved from his earlier works, which are more functional, sturdy and solid examples of the Arts & Crafts style, to later works where he began collaborating with others on relief inlay that ornaments the pieces without taking away from the clean lines of the pieces. That later work interests me the most, as you can see the interrelation of these works and thinking to the style of the Art Deco movement and Frank Lloyd Wright (or at least is seems that way to me).

A nap in the afternoon, followed by idle anime viewing in front of the fire. My left forearm is still bothering me, despite light use today. I've probably done something to it with all the wood splitting. The two possibilities that come to mind are both bothersome - if the pain hasn't subsided in a couple days, I'll have to get it checked out.

Other than that, Digby (the orange tabby) is recovering nicely from the surgery he had this week to remove a polyp from his sinus cavity. Damn thing was the size of a walnut, which for a 6-month-old cat is pretty big. He's breathing like a normal cat again, and when he purrs doesn't need to keep his mouth open. To add insult to injury, we had him neutered while he was there - so he came home with three less walnuts than when he left. The other two go in on Tuesday, and hopefully, that's the last of the vet bills for a while.

A day off of work..

But a day of work.

Rise late, feeling rested. Out to the local garage to address my (late) emmisions on the car. In and out in 20 minutes. Grab a breakfast at the Omelete, then back to the house to work on wood and leaves. The kittens are in full form today, so I have to dodge 12 little feet every time I come into the house.

Simply lost...

Yesterday was a complete wash - no focus, no energy, no connection with the world around me. Today is less so; I made an effort to connect as I rose this morning, but it's a struggle to maintain.

Feeling adrift through the morning meeting, but taking a periodic pause seems to be helping, as does a very clear list of items to address. Sometime, falling back to the base task levels is the only way to move forward.

Quietly making progress...

I must have finally caught up on my sleep, because I felt much more awake today than I have in a long time. Either that, or something in my internal chemistry rebalanced itself. Either way, a productive day, getting a number of small but necessary tasks taken care of. One piece of work presents itself, and I dive into it with gusto. Much ick is removed from the washing machine (this particular washer has a known problem with mildew on the door gasket - not any longer).

This evening's adventure: The Trans-Siberian Orchestra, a.k.a A Big, Loud Rock Show With Fire And LASERs. These guys are SO METAL IT HURTS. And I mean neither of these things in a bad way.

The show was a lot of fun, though I was in tears with laughter at the opening - a grand, potential Spın̈al Tap moment as three of the principals descend from the rafters on small, lit platforms. All I could think of was a TSO version of Derek Smalls stuck 12 feet off the stage for the entire concert. It was an all-around fun evening, and some genuinely inspiring moments of musicianship, especially from the vocalists (who were underutilized, in my opinion).

Now, to bed and back to the work grind tomorrow. I do find myself in the enviable position of not having to work a full week for the remainder of the year, with a few days of vacation still to use up.

Unknown caller...

After morning routines and greetings out to the community, a day completely off. This included watching The Stand, and a nap interrupted several times by phone calls from "Unknown Caller". I really don't like that guy.

Post-Thanksgiving relaxation...

So a late rise after a very long day yesterday. The day's events include:

- Finshing the soup base from yesterday's turkey. Skim off the fats and aspic that have risen to the surface, add more water and a bit of seasoning, and the broth and meat have taken shape. A little more time to cook down and intensify the flavors, and we'll be good to go with about a gallon and a half of soup.
- Making another batch of gravy for the leftovers. Gravy has always been a weak point of mine, and after talking with my mother yesterday, I learned that I had been going about it backwards. So now I know, make a roux from the fat, add in the drippings and any other liquids, season and voila!
- Finish installing the sink in the upstairs bathroom. I'm doing this as a temporary install, as the vanity needs to be repainted. Until my wife is ready to do that (and paint the rest of the bathroom), the new vanity is going in so we have a functioning bathroom. We've been without this bathroom since Kerry moved in - I'm not waiting any longer.
- General laziness in between bursts of activity. Mostly, this involves watching Anthony Bourdain. Talked with the in-laws yesterday about No Reservations and Bizarre Foods. I like both, but prefer Bourdain to Zimmern. They are the opposite. My wife and I discuss some ideas as to why that might be.

So, I finally leapt into Facebook this week. Not that I don't have enough other places to track my network (including LinkedIn), but this environment has the potential to suck away a lot more of my time. The Twitter-like feature was a surprise, and I'm beginning to see why it's attractive to people.

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A last trip to the grocery store for some soup veggies (leeks, carrots and chinese peas), and some bread to go with the left-over squash soup. Turkey soup is now complete, bathroom is as well, and it's time to kick back.

Thanksgiving Day...

11 people for dinner (of 16 possible). Menu for the day, a break with my "tradition" of not having turkey on Thanksgiving:

Pre-dinner:
Bacon wrapped figs with maple glaze
Butternut squash soup
Crab dip (from Kerry's parents)

Dinner:
1 17 lb turkey + 6 lb
1 6 lb duck
Olive oil & rosemary roasted tri-color potatoes (all from this year's garden)
White sweet potato filled filo shells (from the sister/nieces)
Chicken sausage & mirepoix stuffing
Chilled asparagus with olive oil, lemon, onion and panchetta
Cranberry sauce (from Kerry)

Dessert:
Tiramisu cake
Chocolate pudding pie (from the mother-in-law)

You'd better take care...

Actually, nothing on the internal radio this morning, but a quick thought back on yesterday's 70's FM extravaganza triggers a few other songs. Gordon makes another visit (Sundown, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald), Barry Manilow (Her name was Lola...), Foghat (Slow Ride! Double sleazy...), and ELO (You got me runnin' goin' out of my mind, bow dow dow dow...). If I had any indie cred, it would be gone by now.

In to work at a reasonable time this morning. Some lingering issues in QA led to a 6:30 AM call this morning. I was already awake, essentially, but this forced the issue. A relatively quiet day, all the releases from this week have settled in, and a few outstanding items to address. Pass on an opportunity to go out after work - having gone out last night, if I can get out earlier today, I need to get a few things done while there's at least a little light out.

Carefree highway

Sometimes the damndest things are in your head when you wake up. This morning it was Gordon Lightfoot's Carefree Highway, and Jethro Tull's Cheap Day Return. No comment on the former, and as to the latter, well, I still like that album.

Rise at 4:45 to pee and have a flash of worry about the run last night. There are three sets of runs for each night. broken into two groups. The first set of three completed without issue - this was expected, since we really hadn't changed much in this grouping. I remembered as I awoke that I had seen elements of 2 groups of the second set come back, but nothing from the third. The flash was that perhaps it had been submitted to the grid, but hadn't actually run due to some error. Got down to the laptop to check, and lo - everything had run and completed on time. From my initial assessment, it appears that the entire release was clean. This for the first time since I've been here, so not a minor event.

Take care of the pets, then back up to bed for a quick doze that turns into almost two hours. Up, morning routines and into work. Final check of runs look good to me, a couple of things brought up by the customer, the major item being clearly explainable and not requiring any further work on our part. So, closer now to consensus on this being a very successful release. Now, on to the next item in the pipeline. Of course, these QA runs are delayed. Even in normal times, this time of year the compute grid is pretty well maxed out. Given the current market, every single cycle on every single node is being used as capital estimates, reserve calculations and all manner of actuarial, financial and accounting calculations are being done to ensure that we're using the money we have in the best way possible.

Down to Orange Ale House for a reunion of sorts with former and current Bayer people. A good turnout, new updates on everyone's status, a few people not only healthier but far slimmer than the last time we all met. Overall, a good time.

Home, address a QA issue, acknowledge the AAD team, then to bed.

Please release me...

So, despite all of our (unintentional) efforts to the contrary, we managed to release our updates today in a remarkably painless action. We're finally (after a year of my being here) getting a process down to ensure a smooth release: better quality testing beforehand, release script testing (always a breaking point), post-release verification. I can take some credit for this, but for the extra push given to me by my manager. Daily check-in calls over the past week helped ensure everyone was still on task. You'd hope that wouldn't be necessary at this point in their professional lives (and the past year of painful releases should have been encouragement enough), but in the end, hand-holding and baby-sitting it the primary qualification I need to see this through. That said, I seem to need that same level of help to get through it.

Our company invites vendors to set up in the lobby of the building and ply their wares. Today I got the chance to indulge in two key therapies: retail therapy and chocolate therapy, the latter in the form of dark chocolate covered espresso beans. Just the thing for a low energy afternoon leading to a release.

In the non-day-job world, trying to get a couple of cords of wood delivered to get us through the first months of winter. I have close to two cords split and on the deck outside, but though it was cut down last spring, it's been on the ground and I just split it. Water content is still a little high to burn (25-30%; recommended is below 20%), so I need more to get me through. I have a feeling we'll be burning heavily this year. This house is a bear to heat and pretty expensive, even keeping the thermostats at 60°. In the meantime, I'm bringing in some of the "wet" wood to put on the radiant-heat floor in the sun room. I'm keeping the plants and one cat warm, so why not use the heat to dry things out?

It looks to be windy, cold and dry for the weekend, so I should be able to get leaves done before pickup starts next week. I do like this town: we still actually have leaf pick-up in the fall.

Take a moment to send good wishes to the AAD team. The agenda for the rest of the evening: Top Chef, some final checks on the evening post-release production runs, and then bed.

Refocus

Rise at 6:15, with a kitten perched on my chest licking my nose. Normal morning routines, good wishes to the AAD.

To work with a bit more focus this morning. First half of the work day in meetings addressing last night's discovery and resolution. Work through lunch to get out meeting minutes, document the chages and reset expectations.

Struggling with detachment at a certain level. It's very easy for me to fixate on things like this and let the emotions dominate me to a point where I lose sight of the aim. Sometimes, it's OK, but I don't believe it is this time. Spent a bit of the morning talking my BA down off the proverbial ledge regarding the same thing. How to maintain balance between focusing on the issue and preventing its recurrence, and letting things go enough so that they can keep moving forwards?

Where does the time go when it's not around here?

Begin the day more deliberately than usual in some respects: feet hitting the floor, acknowledging the work that begins today in the AAD, though I am unable to participate directly. Something also missing: forget to package up and freeze some soup I made last night, no real consciousness on the drive in, mind not even wandering - just going into some thoughtless dead-zone. If the last was intentional (and not while driving) it might have been worthwhile.

Monday greets me with a small service level hit: delay in a production process with a cause that should have been caught yesterday after a scheduled reboot. These simple things continue to elude us.

Checking on the QA runs from the weekend, and results line up as expected. Barring some disaster, we release tomorrow. I have some confidence in this going cleanly, but history continues to temper any optimism I have.

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So, not a disaster, but another delay. One set of parameters were input incorrectly and need to be adjusted. Another small item that could have been caught if we were more attentive. Pecked to death by ducks.

Home in the evening, clean up the forgotten soup, make left-over sauce with bread and fresh mozzarella. Crank the wood stove up again, as the weather is shifting back to late-autumn, early-winter this eveining.

Thursday, July 24th 2008

Rise at 6:00, downstairs to check the status of the evenng's runs. Everything has completed on time, which is unusual (but very welcome) after a release. Morning routine, but realize after I am at work that either a) I forgot to perform ablutions, or b) I don't remember doing them. In either case, something significant lost this morning.

Now that this release is complete, I have to do a review of the project, and gather any information about what we could have done better. The human response is "what could everyone else have done better" or "what did someone else do that caused me issues". The lessons learned approach is "what can we have done better" and more specifically "what can I do better". We'll see how this works out. Incremental changes, and all that.

Otherwise, just tired today, partly from last evening's work, partly from some wine last night. Looking forward to the weekend - dinner with friends, completing the bathroom repairs, flea and farmer's markets and some down time. The weather looks to be improving, so an afternoon on the hammock is in order.

The second half of the year...

Noble souls, through dust and heat,
Rise from disaster and defeat
The stronger.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Snow day? Not quite.

Rise at 6:00 to newly fallen snow, and a reminder of why I never watch local news broadcasts. Apparently there were "horrendous conditions" in Hartford, if I were to believe the banner across the bottom of the screen. In other words, some snow & slush with a 90% chance of local news trying to make an ordinary snow storm seem newsworthy.

Log in to check on the weekend runs, and coordinate a bit with one of the customers on a failed job. Grab some breakfast and head out to clear the driveway. While using the snow-blower, a crack and loud bang as a tree up the street loses a branch and crosses the power lines. Power goes out on the street, but by the time I've completed clearing the driveway and back stairs, a police car, fire emergency vehicle, town maintenance and power company truck have all been by and power is restored. It's good to live in this part of town.

Out to work, cleaning up some items and working with the BA on comparing QA and Production, in order to make sure we are ready for the next phase of development. Lunch, and then working on the agenda for tomorrow's group meeting. Ah, the exciting life of an office drone.

New, slightly menial, work arises in the afternoon. Going through the file systems on the servers to see where we are chewing up space (about 3TB in use). Amazing how much we have available to us, and we immediately fill it. Even 10 years ago, volumes like this were unheard of (at least in business).

Home, dinner of leftovers, and practicing Intergalactic Boogie Express. Some good progress and quality work, though tempo and maintaining the triplet feel are still areas that need a whole lot of work.

To bed relatively early (10:00), feeling more tired than I thought I would.

How do you know they can do what they tell you they can?

Rise slowly again this morning - alarm at 6:00 rise at 6:20. I neglected the preparations from last night, so in addition to the normal morning routine I have to put together breakfast and lunch. (As a result, as I cast my thoughts back to the beginning of the day, I forgot to take my vitamins.)

In to the office by 7:30, a quick review of e-mail (I'm still new enough that e-mail doesn't take up a ridiculous amount of time), then discuss the morning's meeting agenda with Peggy. A bit of time on arranging the day, then to the meeting.

My first real meeting coordinating the Hedging agenda; a few bumps, but not too bad. Back after the meeting to another impromptu scheduling meeting for one of the higher priority projects in the queue, and some good results there. Lunch, and updating documentation and project plans. Uncover some process discrepancies as I go through this, and spend some time with the BA to work them out.

More work in the afternoon updating project plans. I think I'm going cross-eyed, but the upshot of this, in connection with some reading I'm doing, I believe I have a good way to show evidence of the work that I am doing, and how this could be leveraged for this and other opportunities. The genesis of this comes for DeMarco & Lister's Peopleware, in a chapter called 'Hiring a Juggler'. Basically, they describe a hiring interview with a juggler - he says he can do all the things the manager asks. At the end of the interview the juggler asks if the manager would like to see him juggle, and the manager says "I never thought of that." Having evidence that we can do the work speaks volumes. Now, I'm looking at what would constitute meaningful evidence for a Project Manager, and how I can develop and carry that with me (whether I pursue other work internally or decide to move on).

Find the steady state

Alarms at 5:15 and 6:00, rise at 6:30. Morning routine, and a kiss on the forehead for my sick wife. I really feel for her, as these lingering stomach issues can be a real bear. Out the door about 30 minutes later than usual, so correspondingly later in to work.

On my own today, and mostly following up on open items (the local manager works 4 long days and has Fridays "off" - I say "off" because I've heard from her several times today). Meeting agendas and some calls out to get status updates. So far, everyone has been generous with their time and information. A refreshing change.

A brief meeting with my former Bayer colleague. He's the manager for the other half of the team I'll be dealing with regularly, and a friend. We discussed the team personalities for his resources and mine. I'm building a personal reference that I could share at some point, if anyone has to work with these folks, or even if I have to work with them at a later date and I need a refresher about communications preferences and like. One hazard of this process is that it can have the taint of judgment. Our immediate experience can ultimately color our dealings and relationships. What I'm looking to glean from this conversation (and I intend to have others with most of the individuals) is a set of guidelines I can use when working with people, to make sure that they get the right information in the right way at the right time. It's a delicate balance.

Feeling less scattered today (though I have to temper that statement by saying I've missed most of the limb rotations). A lighter lunch comes as the result of an observation about how I get my food: I tend to fill whatever size container I have (basically, a food version of Parkinson's Law). I realized I should do two things at the salad bar to better manage the amount of food I consume: first, pay attention to how much I'm taking (duh) by resisting the urge to fill the container I have; second, use a smaller container, effectively allowing me to take less while still getting the feeling I've filled the thing up. I began this last night when I chose a smaller container for the bits that I bring to work (rather than pay for the weight of the salad bar).

Thursday - Am I Really Here

Rise with the 6:00 alarm. Dragging a bit this morning - I think I'm still adjusting to being at work again and I still have an odd sleep schedule from the holidays. Feeling a bit less distracted this morning, though the drive in was a bit vacant. In to the office, get set up and have breakfast (bagel, cream cheese & raspberry white tea).

Begin the day preparing for meetings, the first to review the month's release schedule with the IT team, and then to bring that to the client manager to verify that this is, in fact, what they need and when. Some priority items, and an unusual experience: being able to set direction. We seem to have the flexibility to limit what goes through the system, rather than the customer forcing everything at once. They actually expect and rely on the IT people to make sound judgments as to what can go when, and when we recommend something to avoid a conflict, they actually listen.

Good morning, and I had the deceptive feeling that I am beginning to understand some of the things going on. I know better.

Lunch, still figuring out how to moderate a bit more. Some raw spinach, cucumber, tofu, fresh mozzarella, kalamata olives and ranch dressing. Slightly less volume than yesterday, but I believe I need to adjust down again - I could probably do with about half the tofu & mozz I had today.

Completing meeting minutes in the afternoon and checking up on a monthly procedure and its results. So far, so good.

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Home to a still-sick wife. She's been sick off-and-on since before Christmas, with her stomach being the main culprit. Not a happy thing. Some minor cleanup and readying for the morning, then some light computing and to bed.

Wednesday - And Back to Work

Grudgingly rise with the 6:00 alarm, sit shower and collect my things for work. Getting the hard-boiled egg ready, it turns out that I didn't cook them nearly long enough, so I'll have to address that tonight. Out on the road and in to work at 7:15.

Begin the new year with a number of issues. I'm beginning to get a sense of the scale of work here, but I have a feeling I have another few weeks of assimilating the information about the environment and business before I can make truly independent (and quality) decisions about then work that needs to happen. Many items on the docket for the year already, so I'll be jumping straight into the fire. I have to be careful - I have a tendency to rush headlong into these things without considering repercussions. This is definitely an environment that requires more careful consideration. The more I look at it, this is a necessary environment for me.

I must still be detoxing from my Bayer experience. Had a dream/nightmare last night where I was still working for my last manager, though I think the dream was really about communication. Also had confirmation on New Year's eve that my declining another offer was the right thing to do. That environment was definitely not the right one for me. Still so much more to work through.

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Afternoon is much better - a mea culpa or two, and reassuring the local manager after watching her twitch during the morning's events. Some final meetings and review of a new item, and now to head home.

Tuesday - Another Year

A very late and leisurely rise this morning. Not too crazy on the festivities last night, though it was the first time in a very long time that we have gone and stayed out for New Year's. A good time at our friends Don and Jean's house, with a few other folks. One person there was a former Bayer person as well, though from a time before I arrived. We still knew many people and were able to share updates.

Begin the day in the limbs in a new configuration, per Victor's request. A little different, but I'm sensing that I can make the adjustment easier now that this exercise has been going on for a while. Still, it's good to intentionally shake things up on occasion.

A tough day staying focused. I've always had issues focusing, but lately I'm like a magpie in a field of costume jewelry. I begin one thing, only to uncover another and drift on to that, and so on. If I manage to stay focused on the thing I began, I completely lose the other and never come back to it. I'm also irritable and cranky. I have a sense of some of the reason why this is, but the person I need help from is essentially unavailable.

The house struck again today, twice. First, I went to replace the occasionally leaky kitchen faucet. As it turns out, the unit is plumbed with 3/8" copper directly to the assembly. The current faucet has inlets set at the sides of the unit, and the new one has both inlets in the center. I can either cut the copper, re-cap the lines and put in flexi-hose, or return the current faucet and see if I can find a faucet (naturally more expensive) that has the wide set. So much for a quick fix. Second, there was a strong smell of fuel in the entryway. We have natural gas heat, so it wasn't fuel oil, and you could only smell it at the bottom of the stairs near the half-bath that is rarely used. In a rare flash of insight, I went into the bathroom (where the smell was stronger) and flushed the toilet. About 30 minutes later, all better. Your lesson for the day: make sure that you periodically flush all the toilets, lest the sewer gases find their way into your home. (And these things in addition to the pinhole leak I found at random on the furnace water intake. I still need to permanently fix that.)

Shopping in the afternoon (two trips, due to more inattentiveness), and pick up stocks of food for the week. The vacuum sealer is getting more of a workout now that we've got the freezer downstairs. Make up some salmon for the week to try cooking sous vide (one olive oil and spices, one lemon pepper), hard boil some eggs, and prep some tofu for lunch this week.