Here comes the course

Here comes the course.

In the week leading up to a guitar course, for me there is a ramping up of energy, a sharpening of focus, an awareness of internal and external detail.  I wonder at this – am I simply anticipating the course, and so am more aware of what I do ahead of it?  Is there a real energy created by the attendees as they begin their preparation – a shared aim creating something in the universe that was absent only a week ago?  How does one empirically test such a thing?  Is that even necessary?

Energy flows in and seeks an outlet.  The guitar is there.  The vacuum is there.  The bathroom is there.  The garden is there.  All welcome places for that energy and its consequences.

Time slows and more becomes available.  Everything in a breath.  Ample time for doing what is necessary.  No need to hurry.

The trick, as always: how to create that energy despite the lack of a course.  Or even better: how to make life one long course.

 

Review

Through the magic of trying to discover where a 2 year-old request came from, I had to delve back into some older e-mail archives (how is it that I can remember or suss out a 3 year-old password?).  In this archive, I also have some older journal entries, some nearly 15 years old.  It's amid some of the mundane details and sometimes laughable commentary, there are some genuine observations. 

I do this periodically, if only to remind myself where I was, and to get a sense of what was important to me at the time.  It also gives me a sense of how far I have (or haven't) come in the intervening years.

Things that haven't changed: the exercises and repertoire I was working on (Eye of the Needle and Bloackhead in September of 2000, my seeming need to yank myself out of my chair by the shoulders (as evidenced by my first AT meeting with Sandra), my sensitivity to people entering late the sitting space at the beginning of a sitting. Oh, and I still can't count out loud while playing.

Things that haven't changed: the longer-term impact of my Level 1, and many of the people and things I was exposed to that week.  Reading my very limited notes (I'm not particularly adept at journaling during courses), I'm interested by what struck me enough to write down, and how much more my memory can fill in.  I must have had a few moments where I was present.

Doing some writing now, some of which might become public.  At this point, I'm getting inspiration from a couple of places (Seth Godin, Kevin Kelly) and will probably look at JGB's Witness and Transformation before putting anything out, but at the moment, there are a few interesting short-form ideas percolating.  I'm also pulling a numer of older ideas out of my archives to see if they are worth fleshing out.

I also feel a change is coming on, but it needs to be directed.  There's a bit of wild energy available to me, and I have to be careful.  Darker, dangerous things lurk, and while they can be valuable and useful, better that they have some direction before action.

The Course That Never Ends

GCE AAD II 2013 - 1, 198, NS +49

Returning to AAD work, a week or so following the OCG VII course.  The past two courses at Caravan have been pretty remarkable for me, and point to several things more positive than I can remember coming out of courses in previous years.  I have a stronger sense of the Work than I've had in a long time.  This is partly from Guitar Craft, but I think has been increased in the past two years by working at Camp Caravan and the Millers River group.  While I've felt connected to the Work in the past, I now have more of a connection with the Work and a place.  There is something more tangible about that connection having a physical space that is associated with  this way of working.

A second positive is where I've gotten in my personal work.  I recieved many genuine and positive comments from people at the end of the course, largely about my work as the house manager.  While 68 attendees is not the largest course I've been a part of, it is very large for the facility, the main challenge being a dining area.  The whole of the course, especially the tour portion was handled well, and speaks very well to where things are with the New England team, and North America as a whole.  Personally, good feedback from the Geeks via Sandra that confirmed outward evidence of my primary Aims for the course.  I also met my secret Aim of learning everyone's name on the course.

First day of the AAD, an hour's practice centered around the First Primary extension and Calliope exercises.  Actually some good fun with the latter - much of this is focused on the leads, which I never focused on.  Remembering why this is: the Ovation doesn't have all the frets I need for the Intro/Midtro/Outro in the leads.  Working with it regardless, as there is value in dealing with the issue creatively  Also codified some of my process for tuning after reading Martin's presentation on the topic. 

Tuesday

Tuesday July 3rd, 2012, 194, NS, JotD, AAD 33

Rise at 5:45.  Sitting, working with the theme of Goodwill (in addition to Intention and Presence).  My sense of this is one of building, that Goodwill requires both to be true and honest.  A delay getting out of the house (not due to inattentiveness for a change), and in to work.

Lashed to the desk longer than I intended this morning, addressing some overnight issues.  Frustrating for me, even more frustrating for my development team.

Lower-body focus in the gym today:
- 1/4 mile run (10-minute pace)
- 3 rounds 10 dead-lifts w/35# & 45# KB
- 3 rounds single-leg stability 15 sec each leg
- 3 rounds calf raises 20 each legs
- 3 rounds 10 front squats w/20# & 25# KB

More focus on quality of form than maximum weight.
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Discussion this morning about a disconnect in the business process and how it affects us, as a downstream process.  I can see the end-gaining going on: there is a lot of "doing" while acknowledging the problems.  The business flow doesn't allow (or the perception is that it doesn't allow) a slow-down in order to make things more efficient.  Fundamentally, things need to stop for a week, and allow people to regroup and call out the things that are making the job near impossible without a high level of constant heroics.  A Kaizen event would be ideal, but I'm not sure I could convince peope to a) do the event, and b) follow up on the recommendations.

The very definition of involuntary suffering.

Monday

Monday, July 2nd, 2012, 193, NS, JotD, AAD 32

Rise at 5:45, shower, sitting and off to work.  Found myself looping from the car to the house twice, as I forgot two things on the way out.  Inauspiscious way to begin the day.  More of a start really.

A crazy week for looking forward and back:
- Potential news this week about the Higgs boson, aka why some things have mass
- A research team leaving for a small island in the Pacific, with a strong lead that they have found where Amelia Earhart was stranded after crashing
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A good morning workout, very upper-body focused:

3 times through:
5 presses each arm (35# KB)
5 pull-ups
10 pushups (hands on medicine balls)
10 rows each arm (45# KB)
20 overhead swings (45# KB)

I think this will be at least twice a week, with the Friday big workout as the third.
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Beginning the middle week of the AAD.  I've been struggling with my capacity to learn new material.  Part of this may be the time I approach it (evenings), part of it seems to be an internal limit.  Looking for ways to improve this - a limited ability to read and "envision" the music feels like the the main things to address.
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Home.  Tired.  Practice.  Play.  Bed

Thursday

Thursday June 28th, 2012, ???, NS, JotD, AAD 28, BTTHG C1


Rise at 6:40 - no gym this morning, as it's a day off.  Shower, sitting and off to work. Presence is the Theme for this week, and a constant return to where I am in this moment.  Easier said than done.


I was sick the past couple of days, so didn't go into work.  Some time relaxing at home and being present.  The Theme work helps, as I could work on Intention and Presence, rather than giving in to whatever bug was eating at me.  Though I had to give into the bug occasionally.  Today is a return to work, catching up and planning for the next week.  We're still working to complete a few things that have lingered, and I have to be present to keep this from becoming a major frustration issue.
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I began reading Beelzebub's Tales... this week.  I began this two years ago this week, and was unable to sustain it.  Perhaps it wasn't the right time, and now is.  I have a sense that in this particular 7 year cycle, I'm at the right place, and have built up the necessary capacity to approch this aspect of the Work again.  We'll see - this time it has a sense of necessity, between the Guitar Circle courses, Enneagram work and contact with the Bennett group.
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Slogged through the day, rather unceremoniously.  Sometimes you're all there, and sometimes you have to phone it in.  Today was a telephone day.  A two-cans-and-a-string-telephone day.

Home to a hungry wife, and out for dinner to Ted's.  Then, over to Sephora, where our oldest nephew has started to work.  It's his first "real" job, outside of wokring at various horse barns - a completely different experience.  He's in his element though, and his artistic ability, as well as his social nature, seem to make this a good fit.  we'll see how he likes the corporate world versus the barn world.  Same politics in a different form.
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Now practice, some light gaming and to bed.

Monday

Monday June 25th, 2012, 193, NS, JotD, AAD 25

Wake at 5:45, rise at 5:55.  Shower, sit and off to work.  Still looking to maintain a sense of Intention as I leave the house - carrying last week's Theme from the AAD forward.  The plan for the week is to build, carrying Intention and Presence forward, eventually building up to all seven of the principles for work in the circle.  What if I could carry that through every day of my life?
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Mura, Muri, Muda Revisited

Wednesday June 19th, 2012, ???, NS, JotD, AAD 19


Rise, with Intention, at 5:45.  Sitting, shower, and out to work.  Second day that on the way out I lost the thread of the day before I even got to the Jeep.  In to work, and on to planning the next phase of the project.  We're at the requirements phase, and I need to draw out many of the details from the business owner.  This is our normal way of operating: a one sentence statement becomes the basis for a development project, with the expectation that this one sentence is enough for us to work with.  Unless this sentence is Joycian 30 page sentence, it is never enough.  Such is the joy of project management and business analysis.
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Reviewing the 6-Sigma Voice of the Customer tools with our ITLP yesterday, and the slide on Mura, Muri, Muda came up again.  A bit of a flash, and a thought occurred to me: if this is the definition of the three things we're seeking to address in a process:


Mura - Inconsistency
Muri – Overburdening
Muda – Non-value adding


I can see Guitar Craft/Circle analogues/aphorisms:




Muri – (Honor) Sufficiency
Muda – (Honor) Necessity


What then is Mura?  Discipline? A consistent practice?  Something that bears some thought, and finding the question that goes with it. 
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Head home for the Wednesday night dinner, 9 in the house for the evening, including the Kalifornia Krew, my nephew and a visitor from Ireland.  On the menu: tequila-lime pork carnitas, roasted potatoes, corn with lime & manchego.  Watermelon and grapenut ice cream for dessert.

Pre-meal workout with Micah.  No run today, but we did a cross-fit workout from one of the Friday sessions:

200 yard sprint
then 3x, all KB are 35#:
5 KB presses (each side)
10 KB rows (each side)
15 burpees
20 KB overhead swings
200 yard sprint

Both sucking wind by the end.   Micah can blow by me in the runs, but I've got better KB mechanics, so I was done a bit ahead of him (on the 3.5 mile runs, he's well ahead of me).  A good workout, made a bit tougher by the heat.

Dinner, good conversation, practice, and then to bed.

TBD

June 14th, 2012, 188, NS, JotD, AAD 14

Rise a bit later (today is a day off from the gym), sitting, and then into work.  A full morning of meetings and status updates.  We're still on track for a release tomorrow - I'm reasonably confident that we'll get there for a change.  A few things added to the requirement, mostly data, so we're able to absorb it.  Normally in the project world, this would generate a significant amount of work - change control, approvals, etc.  In our world, we're blessedly a bit more flexible.

Part of the reason I remain working in this organization (rather than seeking other employment) is that, despite the rapid change and demands of the job, we have a strong team that is technically adept and extremely flexible.  I can't overstate the value (to me, at least) of a team like this; and it's the combination of the business and IT resources, not just one or the other.  My experience is that you can survive if one half or the other is highly functioning, but to really succeed, you need both.

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Fly through the work day, ending with the weekly status meeting.  Many things coming to completion at the same time, so Friday will be a scheduling challenge.

Home to a quick dinner of leftovers, True Blood, practice, then bed.

Mura, Muri, Muda

June 12th, 2012, 192, NS, JotD, AAD 12

Rise at 5:45, sitting and into work.  Early e-mails and status updates, followed by the morning exercise routine:

Lower Body focus:
- Barbell deadlift, 3 sets @ 8 reps, 125#, 135#, 145# (finding a good weight to settle on for future workouts)
- Dumbell squats, 3 sets @ 8 reps, 70#, 80#, 80#
- Calf raises, 1 set @ 20 reps, 210# (machine)
- Leg curls, 1 set @ 15 reps, 130# (machine)
- Sit-ups, 2 sets @ 10 reps each side, knee raised, sit up to opposite knee

A bit much on the squats - on the last two reps, I got out of balance, let my back round, and my shoulders came in front of my knees, which triggered my back.  A bit sore now, but directing in order to manage the soreness; the more out of alignment I am, the worse it is.  Thus, AT saves the day, yet again.

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Reviewing a Lean/Six Sigma presentation that our TDLP is putting together.  Brian is really on the ball (all of these leadership program "students" have been outstanding), and I'm looking to leverage his experience and training in one of my projects.  There are three key areas of process waste that Lean looks to address:

Mura - Inconsistency
Muri – Overburdening

Muda – Non-value adding

All seek to address items that are not necessary to the process or the customer.  This originally came out of the manufacturing sector, but there are many other places we can apply the principles.  So, for daily life, first: where are these three areas of waste, and second: what must be done to address them?

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Home & completing the dishes, then out to Pho with the nephew & the Kalifornia Krew.   Home to some prep for Wednesday dinner, practice, and then to bed.

Return to the Center

June 10th, 2012, ???, NS, JoTD, AAD 10

Rise at 6:30, sit & out with my niece for breakfast a the Omelete.  Havent' raelly done breakfast in a while, and even though I ate far too much yesterday, I still had an omelet and most of my (loaded) hash browns.

Out to The Flea - I still dont know why skimming through other people's junk is entertaining to me.  Perhaps I've got a lingering yankee thing, where I hate to see anything that might be useful sit somewhere other than my garage.  OK, not perhaps.  Regardless, I resisted the urge and let a few things go; perhaps this is the most useful exercise I can do on a Sunday - keeping in mind what is necessary.

After The Flea, out to the farmer's market.  Strawberries, popcorn, onions, mustard, peas & garlic.  The beginnings of my Wednesday meal are appearing.

At 1:00, my sister arrives to pick up my niece, I head out to lunch with D & L, back to the house to take care of Sunday necessities, then practice and some gaming to complete the night.

Special

Saturday, June 9th, 2012 ???, NS, JotD, AAD 9

A full day again.  Up at 5:30, early sitting, then down to New Haven for Special Olympics.  Once again, my wonderful wife kept everything moving so smoothly, that those of us on the Long Jump pits didn't have an issue the whole day.  Compliments all around, plus a visit from a state senator.

Maintained attention in the body from 9:00 to noon, with special attention to the GCNE team at the Transmission Hour.  Late e-mails confirm a good session, and worth the effort put in over the last two weeks.

Dinner and mini-golf with the niece & nephew, and now to bed.  Day off for practice intentionally moved to today, replaced by tomorrow.

Falling Forward

Friday June 8th, 2012 ???, NS, JotD, AAD 8

Rise later again, as I'll be doing an afternoon cross-fit workout with Rich.  Morning routine, and into work by 8:00.  Clearing out a few lingering items from yesterday, and planning forward for the day.  Something I had worked with a while ago from Franklin-Covey was having the following day planned by that evening - this falls in directly with the Decision/JotD exercise, and is something I need to get back to in my everyday work life.

For the rest of the day: follow up with folks and get status reports out.  Fun!

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Encounters with Nature, Part 2: On the way out to lunch this afternoon, I had a black bear cross four lanes of traffic in front of me.  It was fast enough (and I was working to control the jeep) so I didn't have time for a picture, but it had to have been a good 300 pounder.

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Complete work for the day, out to the park for the weekly Cross-fit session:
- 2 5 step ladders, presses, 35#
- 8 200 yard sprints, with 35# rows in between, descending to keep count of the sprints (8, then 7, then 6, etc.)

Home to meet my sister & nieces for dinner, a bit of play with A, who is staying overnight for tomorrow's Special O adventure.  Practice, and then to bed.

Riding Man

June 7th, 2012, ???, NS, JotD, AAD 7


Later rise, as I won't be doing my morning exercise routine, but a bike ride in the evening instead.  A decent ride in, with a small decision made as to how/where I would drive.  Experimenting with this to see if my experience of the ride is different - I'm not so concerned with the duration, but the experiential quality.


It looks to be another full day, which is good.


"Absorb what is useful, discard what is useless, and add what is uniquely your own." - Bruce Lee

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A decent day at work, when all is said and done.  Another shift in priorities requiring a shift in resources.  This is a dance we need to do constantly, and one I've never been particularly adept at.  I'm improving, but still have a struggle with feeling as if I'm always getting the short end in these situations.  I'm at the boundary for my resource allocation, and there is very little slack - these additional requests and priority shifts tend to drag at my resources, or so it seems.  In saying this, one can see that I'm certainly posessive, if not identified, with the resources and the work.  A better way of handling this today was to let go of that possesiveness, and communicate out the impact - ensure that since the priorities had changed, so should the expectations on other projects.  For now, this seemed to have worked, but people have short memories and I can expect to deal with this again next week, when the original delivery date passes.

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Head out from work directly to a bike ride with my friend D.  Catching up on her situation(s) and things in general.  A solid ride of about 14 miles at a reasonable pace, n the occasional downpour.  One event of note: as we rode out, we were accosted by a screaming furball of terror: apparently a fisher cat had a kill or babies it was protecting.  At first, what was happening didn't register: is that a large ferret, or a small bear?  What is that noise?  Pretty funny in retrospect.

Home to dinner and practice, then to bed, earlier than the past few nights.

Running Man

Wednesday, June 6th, 2012, ???, NS, JoTD, AAD6

Difficult rise this morning, allowed myself a bit of a lie-in until 6:30.  Exercise options shifted from the normal morning routine - I'll be doing a run with part of the Wednesday dinner crew prior to dinner.

In to work, and a continuation of the fullness of the prior day.  I do have a sense that it is still not past the edge of control.  It will be important to maintain this throughout the day.  Fortunately, I don't have many meetings, and with some personal presence and attention, I should be able to carry through.

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Home to dinner preparation, then out for a run - came to about 3.6 miles, more than I normally do at one time (I usually do a 1/2 mile or 1 mile run as part of my morning workouts).  Slogging pretty badly at the end, but that was to be expected.

Decent dinner - a sort of carbonara, with peas & fresh pasta from the farmer's market.  Fresh strawberries from the maket for dessert.

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Practice this evening was a bit iffy.  Either too much run, or too much pasta.

To bed about midnight.

Fullness

Tuesday, June 5th, 2012 189, NS, JoTD, AAD



Normal rise & sitting, then off to work.  Catch a few things, as well as a quick discussion with my manager about one of my projects.  I find it interesting how the network of executives works: an executive at a vendor we're considering called one of our execs.  I'm sure there's some discussion of where things stand, is there any other information we can get you, etc.  15 years ago, I would have had a very different (and outward) reaction to this.  Now I have the capacity to respond - I may not feel any differently about the attempt to influence the business customer's process, but I can respond to it with a measure of presence.

Gym this morning:
3 super-sets of 10 barbell presses (75#) & 6 pullups
3 super-sets of 6 dips & 10 one-arm rows (60#)
1/2 mile run

Opted for the upper body today, since my legs are still sore from hiking pallets up the back hill.

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A full day today.  It felt like it was on the edge of being out of control - just pushing my capacity.  As usual, contact in the limbs is a necessity, and my feet are still flat on the floor.  Now to head home, and do some shopping for tomorrow's dinner.

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Shopping completed, with the added bonus of a roasted chicken to break down for sandwiches.  Some frivolous computing, then to the practice room, and finally to bed.

Completion Without an Ending

Monday, June 4th, 2012 ???, NS, JoTD, AAD


Rise later then normal, closer to 6:45.  The late night and long weekend took their toll.  I'm also very sore from the combination of the Friday workout and the weekend of pallet moving and deconstruction, therefore, no morning workout planned.  This is fine, since I really didn't take a physical break this weekend.


In to work and preparing for the day.  Finding both feet on the floor, rather than in their normal "wrapped-around-the-chairleg" mode.  Still carry-over from the course which, with some attention, I should be able to maintain.

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A fundamental question for my everyday worklife: how to adequately prepare the day or week, while still remaining available for the inevitable changes in plans?  Even beyond this, with the constantly changing landscape of work, how to provide a sense of completion, even when something nearing its end is halted for a new priority?  I sense in this one of the keys to my (and my team's) success and well-being.

To put it another way: An ending can be a finish, a conclusion or a completion.  Can we have a completion without actually ending something?

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AAD practice completed (notes are here), full list of repertoire for the 6/9 taping posted, with above/below the line recommendations.  I don't have a good handle on the flow (building tempos, piece-to-piece communication, etc.), so I'll have to leave that to Dev and Victor.

Begin a download, and to bed.

First Market Day & Auditions 2

Sunday June 3rd, 2012, ???, S!, JoTD

Rise at 7:30, and out to The Flea for 8:15.  This is always an exercise in discrimination for me, especially this early in the season.  I have a natural predilection for collecting, so wandering through rows of other people's stuff pulls me.  This time of year there is a pent up supply of castoffs, estate liquidations and tag-sale detritus from the winter.  I have a few tactics to manage this (beyond the basic awareness exercises), so I was able to walk away with one small purchase - an unusual, but useful, set of sockets. 

After this home to a quick snack, and then to the first farmer's market of the season.  As expected, a bit of a madhouse, but we arrived early, so parking and navigating the stalls was pretty straightforward.  We had a plan, and pretty much stuck to it.  Got a few things for the Wednesday dinner, and studiously avoided the amazingly good anginette tea cookies from Meriano's.

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Afternoon back at the place with the shipping crates.  Someone had already come and broken down the tops of the crates, so all I had left was the last base.  Part of me was relieved, as that would have been a lot of work.  I now have sufficient wood for at least one potting bench and a woodworking bench.  I need to rearrange the garage space so I can store wood there, but in the meantime, things are drying on one of the wood piles.

Garbage and cat litter competed, then to the shower in preparation for evening 2 of prep work with the Circle.

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Back from the Circle.  An hour delay in beginning, as one of the team, coming off a 17 hour work day, overslept.  A good 2 hours of work, continuing to audition repertoire, make adjustments, and improve the quality and sense of what will be performed for the taping on the 9th.  I have a sense of what I would include in the list, and need to draft a final set list and running order for Victor & Dev, as well as a rough overview of the plan for the day.  Things will change in the moment, but I feel that the team is well prepared for this.

Home at 11:30, and to bed.  A day off from the guitar.

Beginnings

Saturday, June 2nd, 2012 ???, NS

Rise at 7:30, after what is perhaps the first full night's sleep I've had since well before the course.  Still a drag to get up (probably attributable to last night's Moonchesters (Onyx moonshine - a local variety, grapefruit juice, lime juice and honey).  A decent sitting, though, with less fidgeting and more contact.

Out to begin the day.  Collecting used pallets, which will be put to work as compost bins and places to put the many cords of wood I still have to split after the October storm.  Also disassembling large shipping crates, which will be transformed into a potting bench and a work bench.  The rain makes it a bit of a slog, but I'm getting through it quickly, and the Jeep is being heroic, as she always is.

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A full day, with a sense of completion.  Pallets moved to their necessary locations, first shipping crate base broken into its component parts and stored under cover to dry, dishes done, bathroom cleaned.

AAD guitar practice to complete the day.

Awake, despite myself

Friday, June 1st 186, NS

Alarms at the normal times, but rise a bit late after getting home about 1:00.

Strange end of the day yesterday: I was running out of steam during a two hour meeting, working very hard to remain in my body as a strategy for not letting my head smack the table as as I fell asleep.  That would be very embarrassing in a four-person meeting.  Leave after my last meeting and head out to Bridgewater to meet the team for preparatory work for the June 9th video taping. 

I've had my doubts about this performance; video is something very different from in-the-moment performance, and although I had a prior commitment and won't be able to attend, I was also skeptical as to whether we had sufficient performable music at a high enough quality to fill the time required.  On the final evening of the course I had a useful talk with Dev and Rick, and in doing so, had a clear insight as to my role for this performance.  So I have taken on the Music Director role, an impartially partial observer, whip and pointed stick to support the team getting up to performance level.

Last night was the first meeting as a team after the course (Victor being unavailable due to prior family commitments).  I was probably a bit gentler than I should have been, but I was pleasantly surprised by where things stood.  I honestly don't believe we were ready to do this before the course, but following this session, I'm feeling more positive.  There is still a good amount of work to do, especially with dynamics, energy and presence, and only two more meetings to get there (or as close as we can).  Sunday we'll have the full team together - I have a basic plan brewing for this meeting and the next.

Accepted into the latest GCE at-a-distance course.  Now eagerly awaiting the web site and login information, so that I may continue the course that never ends.
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Checked out flights to Mendoza from Boston.  Yikes.  Argentina looking less likely, but Hope is ever present.

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A thought regarding fear: many times, my first reaction to a new situation is fear and avoidance.  Deeper in, it's a question of fear of failure vs. fear of futility: am I afraid that I may fail, or am I afraid that the effort is a futile one?  How then to know the difference, be present to the fear, and turn that energy into something useful.

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Friday workout with Rich & my fellow Mudders:
- Squat competition (increase by 2 every round; with a 35# and 44# I got up to 12)
- 3 rounds:
     - 5 presses each arm
     - 10 rows each arm
     - 15 burpees
     - 20 overhead swings
- ~1 mile run

I was pretty good up to the run and did the first two sets with the 35# and the last one with the 44#